How can you create a Listening culture? Get to know what your people are thinking. Soliciting feedback from them. Make listening tangible. Learn by asking questions. In Michael Stanier’s book, The Coaching Habit he proposes 7 important questions that a coach needs to master. He proclaims we need to quiet the Advice Monster and respond through active listening after we ask the right questions. A unique method of coaching and effective when used correctly.
At the 2016 National Leadership Conference Peter introduced keynote speaker Bill Marriott on his 83rd birthday. Peter, after reading Bill’s latest book; Spirit to Serve asked Marriott what he thought the greatest leadership skill was. Without hesitation the answer was Listening. He went on to say we need to ask our work force the question: What do You think? Peter understands this well and often proclaims how he himself had a voice working in the original Mike’s Subs at age 14. The older guys would listen. When you study the art of listening you quickly find most people are not very good at it. This becomes a big opportunity for teaching and coaching. One of the trickiest positions on the Jersey Mike’s line is the Sprinkler. They are required to intently listen to how our customer wants their custom-made sub. Mike’s Way (onions, lettuce, tomatoes, oil and vinegar and spices) is our default and how we train all our crew but it a loud and fast paced atmosphere intentional focus is required and needed to make every sandwich a “sub above.” We practice active listening and use training techniques like placing the extra item (pickle) on our sprinkle board when they are requested.
We also love teaching the Art of remembering names. If you think you’re not good at it- you’re right. In fact, science shows us that the first step in remembering a name is simply telling your sub conscious mind that you will. Next, use word association suing a face or body part. “Bill has brown hair.” “Nancy has a nice nose.” You are half way there by using this or similar technique. Dale Carnegie made a living teaching this. He said that a person’s name is the that person the sweetest and most important sound is any language. There is great power in remembering names. Definitely a skill when developed can reap big rewards.
“Let the wise listen and add to their learning.” ~Proverbs
A Coach that listens well, learns well.
May I suggest that coaching is not a profession but a mindset, a way of being. Yes, you will schedule a session at a certain time but it’s not about that. A sub above coach will coach all the time and whenever necessary. The “coaching moment” occurs when we least expect it. With 360- degree vision we see when it’s necessary to intervein and provide a certain pearl of wisdom or make an adjustment.
I’m not a psychiatrist but have a couple friends who are and they tell me that people don’t change. Can’t argue the matter, no debating it and they are very righteous in that people don’t change unless they want to. I personally agree. One of my favorite coaches I worked with in my coaching career was Hall of Fame coach Roy Williams when he was at Kansas University. He had great insight to his players and one of his favorite slogans was “you’ve got to have Want To.” Change only happens when you get that player/person to want to change. Think differently. That’s the coaching challenge. When you posses great coaching qualities I think you have a greater chance of getting someone to think differently and eventually act differently. Psychologists agree that you can’t change behavior while you continue to think the same thoughts that brought you to where you are. The definition of insanity given to us by Albert Einstein is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” To improve your circumstances, you need to improve yourself. Self -discipline is key to obtaining anything you want. Great leaders learn how to create the want, teach the how which answers the why.
Leaders are learners:
“Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.” ~Proverbs
Dov Seidman, author of Why How we do Anything means Everything, makes a case that you can change behavior but only through relationships and morality. He says in order to inspire you have to walk the talk. He loves to talk about Moral leadership. Leaders that are driven by purpose. They elevate others. We know what we can and cannot do. A Moral leader does what they should do. I think this leads to empowerment and trust.
Peter Cancro is such a leader and was bred on doing the right thing.
The 8 magic words- Everything you do must be done with love. The monks gave me some parting gifts as
I ventured into the real world. In addition to the 8 magic words they gave me the new commandment:
Love one another.
When we are motivated by love good things usually happen. It helps guide us on our pathway to sainthood and it could be the greatest leadership concept on the planet. Research has proven out that the biggest predictor of happiness and fulfillment overall in life is, basically, love. It seems to me however that our pop culture has a different meaning of what love is than what the Monks taught. A little empathy, an effort to listen, kindness when you notice others are hurting- this is love! The love we need here isn’t a feeling. The Greeks gave us three types of love. Eros or the romantic type like a husband and wife. Philos or the brother love as in Philadelphia, city of brotherly love. The love we want in our stores is the Agape or the unconditional love, the selfless love, the sacrificial love, it’s that motherly love spiritual in nature. The stores that figure this out have a magic feeling inside their 4 walls. It usually translates to successful sales and service.
When Clemson defeated Alabama in 2017 for the National title in football winning coach Dabo Sweeny was interviewed after the game on national TV. When asked what were his words at halftime he said he told his boys that he didn’t know how they would win but they would win because of love. That’s an amazing insight from a football coach but it proved out and the culture of love that he has cultivated continues to run through the veins of the players and coaches. We need to intentionally use this word more in our lives; I love the way you are wrapping that sub. I love how you sprinkled that sub. I really love how you talk to our customers. I love you man. We can say it, we can write it down and we can act it out. What the world needs now…
Success is when your loved ones seek only love from you.
Doing what’s right. You may have heard that Managers do things right but Leaders do the right thing. I like using the word character when thinking about integrity. If character is king your word is your bond. A handshake seals a contract. You look someone in the eyes and tell them with firm handshake that the job will get done because you have integrity. It is a given.
“Leading is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.” ~General Norman Schwartzkop
Character always trumps behavior. What you are verses what you do. We need to navigate the business world
carefully today. Society seems to value winning at all costs. Contracts mean nothing. Money lures many from another company or team. Greed is good. Morality seems to be optional. It seems we are willing to sacrifice character for conduct and integrity for achievement.
“The deeds you do may be the only sermon some persons will hear today.” ~St. Francis of Assisi
The food business is hard and can be a three- headed monster. The manager has huge responsibility for food safety, great customer service and hiring the right people. One misstep and it’s all over. Managers must develop into leaders if we are going to be successful. The need navy seal like training before we commission them to lead others into this difficult battle called the restaurant business. The number of failures is usually linked to type and quality of training. According to recent studies done by Professor Dr. HG Parsa 59% of hospitality facilities fail in the period of 3 years.
When I think of integrity I also think about the word faithful. Living a life of integrity requires telling the truth. I have found honest, trustworthy people to have the common denominator of being faithful people.
Success is being faithful, to your friends, your family and your teammates throughout the years.
Today in our Jersey Mike’s culture Peter still operates with a handshake. He actually prefers that option.
A man of character knows his limitations but refuses to accept them.
How do you inspire someone? You breathe your spirit of enthusiasm into them.
In his book Everyone Leads, author Chris Lowney depicts bottom up leadership for everyone. Everyone who has the “spirit” inside. It’s how the early Christians grew the church.
Here is a well- kept secret; you want to inspire your employees? Become an inspired leader. A community of monks taught me inspiration with their profound dedication to their beliefs. The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life. They would challenge students with reflective questions like what books are you reading? Who are your friends? What do you watch on TV? All these things influence who you are and will become.
“Choice not chance determines destiny.” ~Aristotle
Choices make the difference. Two people are in the same accident and severely wounded. They didn’t choose to be in the accident. It happened to them. But one of them chose to live the experience in bitterness, the other in gratitude. These choices radically influenced their lives and the lives of their families and friends.
Good coaches teach their people to make prudent choices. That’s how you can inspire.
Great teachers tell stories that bring drama. This makes people listen and learn better. There is a critical link between education and entertainment. In addition, research shows public praise has great impact on inspiring others, this from the book Teach with your Strengths How great teachers inspire their students. As a former classroom teacher, I would also add there is great benefit to working one on one whenever possible. Making a connection usually starts with wanting to inspire which I believe is generated by love.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
When you inspire someone, they feel different. They see things differently, they feel motivated to change their old way and begin a new way. Sometimes a coach can do this in a group but sometimes it takes some one on one attention. As a manager, one of the greatest concerns is how to motivate employees to do their best work. You need to look to yourself and your enthusiasm for your position. Employees notice whether you have a genuine connection to your work. Modeling engagement with enthusiasm for your work is one of the best ways to inspire employees.
One of my monk mentors in college was Abbott Barnabas (son of encouragement), he used to say “to encourage someone is putting courage into their hearts.” Coaching isn’t about judging people; it’s about encouraging them. In 1988 Colorado University football team was playing Nebraska for a shot at the National title. In this game star running back Eric Bieniemy fumbled the ball 3 times in the first half. As the teams heading to the locker rooms for half time you saw something special from head coach Bill McCartney. He had his arm around Eric, a simple yet powerful motivating gesture which doesn’t even require words. Some coaches would have berated or embarrassed their player in this situation but not Bill. He knew the power of encouragement. Unbelievably, Eric would fumble again in the third quarter of the game but in the fourth quarter he rushed for 4 touchdowns and the Buffalos won the game. Still a record to this day and chronicled in the ESPN series 30 for 30 The Gospel according to Mac. How many crew members might benefit from a simple arm around the shoulder or encouraging word? Don’t miss simple opportunities to make a difference.
Bill O Connor was a member of the 1976 Benedictine Boot Hill Bowl champs. Forty years later he’d be standing on the field during halftime at the homecoming game with his teammates getting inducted into the Hall of Fame. That’s when he asked me if I remembered the chat we had 40 years earlier in the locker room where Bill decided he would call it quits after a rough practice. When I saw him sitting with his head down and defeated it only took a couple encouraging words that led him to rethink his decision and stick it out. I for one was glad he did since he became an all-conference offensive tackle and one of the best players on the team. Who on your team can use a word of encouragement today? So many stories are told about the amazing power of encouragement. Make it a daily habit to encourage everybody in your world. Success is in the little things you do and in the things you say.